I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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