i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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