Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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