Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
