Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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