last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
