My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize