I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
