Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
