You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
