so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
