the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
