Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
