SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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