Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
