can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
