My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
