what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
