Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
