he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
