You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
