what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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