My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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