my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
