No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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