Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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