She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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