In the future we'll all be gay
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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