talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
