cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
