I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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