I can tuck mytits in my pants
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
