she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
