I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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