I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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