Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
