Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
