mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
