i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think your dad took our porno
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
