So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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