it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
