You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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