I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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