shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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