The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do herpes really smell.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
