i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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