i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
