yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
