i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
