Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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