i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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