Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
