I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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