Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just forgot I was standing up.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
