i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize