idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
