theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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