You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i need some magic done to my vagina
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
