I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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