so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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