Plan B is the new Plan A
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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