So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
