I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to calm my uterus...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize