I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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