I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
