FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
