it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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