ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
