You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
