she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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