he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
