Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
