yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We have started to decorate penises.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
