How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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