Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
