i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
