Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
