Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
