You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
