I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
